src/gags.c

@@ -39,6 +39,7 @@ void gag_nosport(char *text);
 void gag_ack(char *text);
 void gag_hazelesque(char *text);
 void gag_pklong(char *text);
+void gag_unreturnable(char *text);
 char *apply_bork(char *text, const gag_pattern_t *list, int caps);
 
 /****
@@ -146,6 +147,10 @@ GagInfo gaglist[]={
 	"You have just been made to love Disney",
 	"Your love of Disney has faded",
 	gag_pklong},
+{"unreturnable","unreturnable","De-unreturnable",
+    "You have just been made to love node.js and all things hipster...",
+    "Your affinity for javascript slowly fades away and you begin to make rational language choices again...",
+	gag_unreturnable},
 {NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL},
 };
 
@@ -626,6 +631,11 @@ void gag_nosport(char *text)
 	snprintf(text, MAXTEXTLENGTH-1, "%s", apply_bork(text, nosport, 0));
 }
 
+void gag_unreturnable(char *text)
+{
+	snprintf(text, MAXTEXTLENGTH-1, "%s", apply_bork(text, unreturnable, 0));
+}
+
 #define MAX_WORDS 30
 
 /* Mars Attacks! */
@@ -751,6 +761,7 @@ void gag_pklong(char *text)
 	gag_wordrep(text,"disney ");
 }
 
+
 /**
  * old style lookup table gag filters
  **/

src/gagtable.c

@@ -1293,3 +1293,19 @@ const gag_pattern_t nosport[]={
 
 
 {NULL,NULL}};
+
+const gag_pattern_t unreturnable[]={
+{ "javascript",	"node.js" },
+{ "C++",	"node.js" },
+{ "c++",	"node.js" },
+{ "fortran",	"node.js" },
+{ "pascal",	"node.js" },
+{ "python",	"node.js" },
+{ "java",	"node.js" },
+{ "linux",	"nodeOS" },
+{ "windows",	"nodeOS" },
+{ "debian",	"nodeOS" },
+{ "fedora",	"nodeOS" },
+{ "silver",	"our node.js server" },
+
+{ NULL, NULL} };

src/gagtable.h

@@ -16,5 +16,5 @@ extern const gag_pattern_t warez[];
 extern const gag_pattern_t french[];
 extern const gag_pattern_t babelfish[];
 extern const gag_pattern_t nosport[];
-
+extern const gag_pattern_t unreturnable[];
 #endif /* GAGTABLE_H */